Christmas is going to be a bit weird this year...

I am boycotting Christmas this year. There are many reasons for this but the main one is it will be the first without my mother. I miss her dreadfully but things get easier I suppose. Lately I've been needing a cuddle from her. I miss her eyes, her hair, her smell and how much she helped me with even the small things. Sigh.

She passed away two days before Valentine's Day. I spent it in bed. A month later it was Mother's Day. I spent that day getting drunk. For what would have been her 57th birthday I stuffed my face with rare steak. I'm a vegetarian. So for Christmas my reaction is to not celebrate. Sounds a bit ridiculous I know but it's the only thing I feel comfortable doing. I'm spending Christmas Day with my partner's family and for me, Xmas starts and ends there. Luckily they understand.

Sorry for the downer. Normal service shall resume asap.

Freya
xxxo